dealing with

i'm so happy for some reasons,
i'm so dissapointed due to another ones,
so sad with some people,
nostalgic about another reasons & confused about the ones i love's future

i wanted time to think even more, and bravery to always be true about my feelings: exposing what i feel that hurts me - Sometimes,so damn much; Here deep inside, and that (even after all this time together) can still make me feel distant.

But now,
Asmterdam , we're coming. And I won't let anything bad affect those days, so close now, though i know it won't be easy- as it never is- when i return back to the reality